For most people “family” is the most important thing in their lives but for me, it has for a very long time nearly always been my Friends.
Don’t get me wrong I love my family dearly and luckily for me, I also consider my Mum and one my sisters an aunt and a coupe of cousins, to be included among my best friends.
I suppose this is because I moved away from home quite young, so the people who were around me for most of my adult life, for immediate either physical or emotional support, were friends as opposed to family members, purely sometimes as a matter of geography.
Friends seem to fall into all sorts of categories including
- Best Friends – these are the ones that you know with all your heart and soul will be there for you no matter what. They hold a place in your heart that no matter what happens in life will NEVER go away, NEVER fade. You know you can call them at any hour, for any reason and they will be there for you and visa versa. They are part of who you are.
- Old Friends – these are usually the ones you made at school or some place when you were young. You grew into the person you are today around them and them around you. you went to school with them, knew their families, and they were a part of you day-to-day existence. They shared your future hopes and dreams and most of your early adventures. You were all there for each other when you met a boy, they were pretty much your entire social life, and you sat around and gossiped and bitched either about each other (in a loving way 🙂 or about others. You played on the same Netball team, cried on each others shoulders when you had a broken heart, they were at all you birthday parties and you at theirs. You were bridesmaids at their weddings, god mother to their babies etc. These friends, no matter how far away you move, or how little you may speak to them, in the instant you do, it is like no time has passed at all, and all those loving, beautiful memories come flooding back.
- Gay Friends – I have lots of these and I actually hate having to categorise them at all, as for me a few of them fit into the above categories. I will never understand why I have to call them “gay” as to me the are the same as all people, individuals with their own characteristics and unique identities. I guess like all of the labels that we give other people, there are some certain things they have in common. For me it is usually that they are fun, non judgemental ( because they have usually been judged horrifically for most of their lives), loyal, kind and they seem to love my loud, out there characteristics. They love a gossip, always listen and give you a unique perspective on each of your lives. They are often good for fashion advice or style advice but just as often not.
- Work Friends – This is a category that can sometimes run over into the ones above but are usually defined as the people you really like at work but you both have busy lives and don’t really have that much in common outside of work.
- Single Friends – These fall into a couple of categories,
- Those with kids. As dearly as you love the ones with kids it is very difficult to ever come FIRST with them because naturally their children already do. You love them, listen to all of their kid’s stories ( which usually make me happy that I only ever had dogs 🙂 ), some times get to go out with them but they usually already have such busy lives that revolve around their kids and at my age sometimes their grandkids. You give them advice they NEVER listen to about their kids issues, which can sometimes be frustrating, as no matter how good and practical the advice is, the response will inevitably be “you don’t know what it is like to be a Mother“.
- Those without – a my age this is quite a rare category and only a few such creatures exist. these are the single guys and gals that are always ready to go out ind hot the town with.
- Married Friends – these are the friends who whether or not they also have kids, you never get to come first with. They will be loving and supportive when they can spare the time and more often than not you usually don’t get invited to the dinner parties because you upset the numbers 🙂
No matter what the category they fit into, it is my Friends that have got me to where I am today, they have provided love and support, fun and laughter and filled my life with something that nothing else in life can ever do. Once I classify someone as a FRIEND it is something that no matter what they do, or how badly it may go wrong, they have planted a flag to mark their territory in my heart that will ALWAYs belong to them and I can never give back.
I live my life with few regrets and envy very few others. One of the few things I do envy in my Life, is one of my sister’s group of friends. Due to the fact they have all lived in the same place all their loves, they have stayed together through every stage of their lives, their kids have grown up together, they have holidays together and love each other in a way that nothing can come between. I do ENVY.
Due to that fact that I have moved around so much, and my friends have also, for me, this has been almost impossible to maintain. You try to keep in touch as often as possible and time and distance seems to always get in the way. As you get older it is hard to make new friends and almost impossible to ever find someone you will come FIRST with for all of the reasons given above.